Loading...wait, this is definitely error

There are symptoms to be considered before declaring something as ERROR.
Error, according to Dictionary.com, is...wait it's too long to type. but anyway, MY LIFE IS CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE.

Not being sarcastic or whatever, but nothing is working well in my life at the moment. Where should I start? hmmm may be the fact that my BB, the closest technology in my hand to connect and socialize with the world, is broken. Wait, let me rephrase that, IT'S FREAKIN' DEAD. Which mean that I am stuck with my old Nokia phone (which I am still thankful that it is still working) but dead BORED. I've got nothing to do. I can't open twitter, chat with my friends, or even simple stuff like checking recent updates! 

Second, my grade is free falling. I guess I love John Mayer so much that follows what he suggest in his song; free fall. Although I really like the term of free falling, but I would not appreciate it happens with my grade. Simply because I do care about my grade. It's just that my brain and body (and soul to add to that list) are having a pretty hard time connecting with the desire of my heart to get good grades. It's like my brain on vacation for a long. long. long. time. thanks brain, I would totally blame you for the degradation of my scores. thank you.

Last, have I not mentioned?
 I AM DEAD BORED
I HATE BEING BORED. 
ME + BOREDOM = STUPID AND RANDOM STUFF THAT I WILL (PARTLY) REGRET LATER ON.

They say curiosity kills the cat. This time, it's boredom. 

To end this post of my long list of misery, I should add the fact that my typo has increase as days goes by and that there could be virus in my laptop. God bless me. 

declared error,
A

Beautiful Saturday

Sebelum hari ini I was planning to post a blog with the caption:"PEOPLE SHOULD STOP PISSING ME OFF!" Why? Well to be honest, cause I'm angry, pissed to be exact. Bete aja rasanya. Nothing goes right. My school sucks. Semua nilai gw lagi "free fall" menuju entah kemana. GALAU tingkat dewa about uni and stuff, dan keluarga gue yang marah-marah melulu. Not to mention, diet gw yang gagal even before it start, BB who decided to switch to self-destruct mode, and A WEEK FILLED WITH EXAMS AWAITS ME. Rasanya tuh kalau nga marah-marah kurang komplit aja.

So I was left alone today, which sucks, because I've got nothing to do. Well, banyak sih sebenernya yang harus gue kerjain cuman I just don't have the heart to do it...yet. Jadi dari tadi pagi, gue bangun  tidur, dimarah-marahin, pergi makan, pulang,dimarah-marahin lagi, latian piano, nonton "UP" bareng (ade gue yang super cute tapi nyebelinnya juga nga tanggung-tanggung),again dimarahin lagi, shower, etc, and nothing.

Just a normal saturday doing nothing. I don't know about you, tapi this sucks so bad. I hate not doing anyhting, tapi gw juga males dan nga tau mau ngapain. So I spent about 3 hours (?) just listening to John Mayer new album (Highly recommended btw) and watch the last episode of Vampire Diaries 3. Trus....nothing. Uda mati gaya sampe bener-bener nga ngapa-ngapain. Then an idea pops into my head: baca blog manusia-manusia yang uda lama gue nga baca.

Gue mulai baca blog ervan (http://dehakid.blogspot.com/), blog dinda (http://adndadnd.blogspot.com/), dan kak atha's blog (http://nerdusmaximus.blogspot.com/). I LOVE reading their blog, cause it's all so random. Plus, it's better than doing nothing at all, right?

Setelah baca blognya mereka, I feel happy. Mungkin emang agak aneh tapi I feel better. Rasa bete uda mulai menghilang and I feel like blogging. (okay that last part was kinda weird). Tapi it made me realize that life is actually good even with those unwanted sparks.

Life is about messing up a perfectly good condition and fixing it. Life is about (partly) being depressed and get right back on our feet. Life is about being happy, feeling everything. Life is about music, travel, and love and a whole lot of other stuff.

Reading their blogs reminds me that all of us have problems of our own and seeing that they conquer their problem, gives me hope that I'll do too. Meskipun hari ini didn't start good dan belom juga selesai, I'm glad that today happen. Who knows what will happen next?

Kemaren ada sesuatu hal yang aneh tapi fun happened. One of my friend, dia "ngeramal" kemungkinan my other friend dapetin cewe yang dia suka. In his prediction, he says: "Kemungkinan lo dapet si cewe itu cuman sekali dan nga lama." dan tiba-tiba gue ngomong: "Well, if that's the case, then you might as well enjoy the ride." which is surprisingly not a bad advice. I've had my time being pissed.Capek marah-marah, capek bete, dan capek juga ngambek dirumah. My life might be a mess right now, so what? Happiness depends on me. Gue yang bisa buat gue bahagia. Not my friends, not my family, but me. So I'm going to take my own advice and enjoy the ride. Let's see what tomorrow brings :)

Finally chilling out,
A

The Diet Plan Dilemma

Hello again strangers, a lot has happened in the last few weeks I guess since my last post. My fucked up school suddenly dismissed my AWESOME English teacher without giving any explanation (as usual) and leaving us curious as hell wondering what actually has happened and this is a major problem. As teenagers, who if I may add already hate the school, we wanted reason. We want to know reason why certain things happen and when the school is messing with a 7 hour subject per week, they better had a really good explanation for us. Then again, the school is pretty much fck up so it is quite useless to expect them doing so.

Second, I have been eating like a pig. My calendars are filled with lunch and dinners. It's so crazy. Here's a perfect example:

14/9- Monica's dinner at Signature, Kempinski
I ate pasta, steak, peaking duck, a bite of cupcakes, asinan, 2 sushi...can't remember other stuff that I eat there.

THANK YOU MONDOTTT!!! MUAH MUAHH!!!

Taking pictures with polaroids :3

more polaroids

BEST PICTURE EVER!!! LOVE YOU JOVIEE!! :*

15/9- Section A: family lunch
I ate dimsum and if anyone of you know Chinese people's dimsum, you don't just eat a piece or two of siomay or hakka. You eat A LOT OF STUFF. I ate PORK, SIOMAY, DUCK, KWETIAW GORENG, FREAKIN FRIED RICE, BAKPAO, VEGGIES, AND EGG TART. Just look at that list!!!! It's crazy.... and those are the food I remembered eating....damn

Section B: friends
Although I might have eaten lunch with my family it was fate that I meet with my beloved friends: Clarissa, Alyssa, Nadia, Hans, and Josh. I LOVE THEM TO DEATH AND I'VE MISSED THEM QUITE TERRIBLY!!!! So when we do meet up, we kinda get a little crazy. Making this short, I ate Rainbow cake and Red Velvet with them. PS: I LOVE YOU CLARISSA FOR PAYING THOSE DELICIOUS CAKE!!! XOXOXOO

Section C: Bintang's dinner
Yes, I went to another friends dinner, and you do get the point of eating a lot so yea....

with da girls

there are other pictures but it might take a while....

16/9: Family lunch
I can't even imagine that I have another lunch....what makes it worse is that it is filled with PORK. Not that I hate it, but they are soo godamnn delicious!


So you might start to guess the background of this post's title. Most of the girls in my class (or my school if I may add) have a really good body and me...well a little far of the end. hahaha but I hope you do get the point. and the girls are having these diet going on, especially because they are having their sweet 17 soon. and I thought, hey, diet might be a good plan for me.  All I have to do is to eat fruits, veggies, and meat only. How hard could it possibly be?







until I realize that I LOVE MY FOOD.
It might be wrong, but I do love food. I wanted to have a great body but to give up my food...that's something else. So I'm really confused and these dilemmas are not giving me any justice. gaaahhhh this is so stressful. but on the bright side, I'm not giving up. Gonna find alternative, other diet that works for me. So wish me luck!

xoxo, A

My once upon a time body target :')

Hello Again

Hello again World and let me start by introducing someone who I have lost for quite some time, me.

I'm back. I'm feeling like myself. Gw ngerasa kalo ini waktunya buat gw jadi diri gw sendiri. I always thought that it is cool to talk and write in all english, tapi ternyata tuh nga juga. I like my indo-english language that I mixed. Meskipun emang nge-bingungin, but what else can be done?

For quite some times now, I feel that things have changed. Scores are getting lower, I'm getting lazier, and life goes on. Even friendship change. and I feel like I've been wasting some of my time just by thinking too much. Well, gw tipe orang yang emang bakal pusing dengan diri sendiri cause I let myslef think too much, even hal-hal yang nga penting pun bakal gw pikirin. Funny and dumb, all at the same time.

But it's time to change. It's time to bring on the SCREW YOU attitude and just live my life. Though honestly, kayaknya nga bakal mempan-mempan banget, at least I try, right? 

Singkat cerita, gw menemukan beberapa pictures yang relate sama gw from Tumblr and I wanna share it here with you guys! 

This is really INTERESTING STORY. check it out later with (may be the title, FRIENDS FOREVER?)

There's a story behind this, I'll share it some other time.

There are some other pictures that I find relevant to me, but I'll safe it for another time. (YES, gw emang lagi males banget. hahhaa)

but before that, this is something I wanna share last with you all :D

We live only once, but if we live it right once is enough. 

 

 

 

Best regards from the new me, 

Audrey

xoxoxo

Bye-bye Stu

At some point in our life, we have to strengthen up and say goodbye because nothing last forever.

But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Goodbye sucks especially when you have to say it to someone close to you. It sucks because you have to admit that things will never be the same. People are being torn apart by distance and communication is thereby minimized. You won't be able to talk face to face (physically), you won't be able to walk around in a mall together with them and just talk about random stuff. You won't be able to do strange habits.

There's so much to hate about goodbye but on the bright side, goodbye makes you realize how important someone is in your life. You are a good friend Stu and I wish you nothing but the best there in Canada!

I might not have said what I need to say on that piece of card, cause trust me, I don't even know what I wrote there. Or I might  not have finished what I'm suppose to say. So this blog is dedicated especially for you STUART JOSHUA WIJAYA!

Stewieeeeee

Best Friends Forever.

Here's something you might need to know about Stu:

1. He's smart!
 Ever since he got his glasses he became this total genius that his scores rockets to the sky! and when it comes to grammar, he is kinda a grammar nazi :p

2. He's slow
if the hare beats the tortoise, the tortoise might just beat Stu. Yes, he is really slow in action and especially in making decision. I think it might have become his habit of making people wait for him. A great and undeniable example is exam time. Stu will (almost) ALWAYS BE THE LAST to come together with Leon, which long story short takes just as much time as Stu in exam.

3. He got stress out easily

He's white, he's black, and he's Asian!

Not only that he is slow, but he gets frustrated easily. For example, he stresses because he didn't study the night before the test, he stresses during the test because he did not get the answer for a test, and then when the test is returned he stresses because he is not happy about the score that he gets. But it's pure joy seeing him stress.

4. Deep down, he's a nigga!!!
 He is cool like a panda. He's white, he's black, and he's Asian.

5. And a whole lot other things.
The list could go on and on from random to racist to sporty to annoying, but in the end, he is Stewie.

Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better friend myself.

 "Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you. Until we meet again!"

Anonymous

So until we meet again Stu :)

Stu and I (:

Your friend,

Audrey :]

A Little Truth About Me

I tried to sound very happy and fine about things. Trust me, I'm a really good actress. I'm so good that sometimes I even fooled myself in thinking that I am happy. Truth is, I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm not even sure of who I am. I looked back and I don't even recognize that person in the mirror. 

Something that I've been asking myself a lot.

I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment, but my headache is getting the best of me. This blog might sound a bit depressing and lonely, but it's something that I wanted to do in a long time. I guess I've been postponing this post because someone might read it and ask me about it. So I kept in inside of me, and thanks to this headache, I can't hold it anymore. I'm tired of keeping this in my head. I hope that may be by writing this, I won't be as lonely as I am. Hoping that a part of this loneliness might escape me. 
 
I'm lonely. To quote Sid from Ice Age 3 ,"Alone, lonely loner." A part of me just feels empty. Even in a big group with many people around me, I can't help to feel lonely. I may laugh or smile or even joke around, but I'm not really there. 

Do you know what I miss the most? Friends.
Not that I do not have any friends, I've got lots of them, but there's something missing. I feel like I'm an outsider just hanging on a piece of thread called friendship. As cliche as this might sound, I don't feel like I belong in anywhere. *go the distance soundtrack is playing
But it's true. I am not a part of it. Like there is a distance between us. 

Today I found this quote: 

May be this is where I got it all wrong.

"The things you hope for the most are the things that destroy you in the end. #TLS"

 May be I want to have friends so badly that at the end, it turns out to be like this. It's sad and I wonder what happened? and I think I know the answer. I lost my confidence. I'm not really sure how to explain this but yea..

See the picture there? That's where I got it all wrong. All this time, always have and always been thinking that friends makes me happy. I believed it so much that I depend to much on my friends for my happiness. That's where I got it all wrong. Not saying that you don't need friend. I'm just saying that for me, it's time to make my own happiness, not other people. I'm really sorry if this blog is kinda depressing but I just wanna let it out right now. Feel free to ask.

A

Run

Expecation

There is nothing that I would love to do more than to run, right now. I'm serious.In don't mean running away from home or that sort of stuff. I mean, really run like what my school forces all of its student to do every half-semester. I do not know what sort of other world spirit that has gotten into me, but lately, I want to do nothing but to run.

Reality

Not to burn calories, or sports (that comes later) and yes, I might suck at running but that's not the point. What I like about running is that feeling when the wind rustling through your hair and the exhaustion. WOW. That's just all that I need. To be away for a moment and run. Just to push myself away from reality. It has become my stress relief. It exhaust every part of me. My legs, my lungs, and my mind; and that's good for me or else, I'll be putting myself under a greater pressure of thinking too much. That's not good you know. Especially for me. 

Lucky for me, Holiday is here. yaaayyy. #sarcasm

Holiday is kinda my worst enemy right now since in holiday, I don't really do much and the time that I have is spent on day dreaming and thinking and regrets and so forth. Even when I'm trying to busy myself with things, there will always be time when I started to think of some stuff and ended up being a sour puss for the day.

I curse. I say all those bad words from daaymmnnn to shtssss and everything else in between. I'm just upset with this life. Nothing seems to work and sadly, I don't care about it anymore. The littlest thing enrage me. I'm mad at myself for days. Some of you might called it PMS. Trust me, it's not PMS.Why? Because I know very well that this is something greater than PMS. Let me put it this way, if I am a computer, this is the part where the screen turns red and shout "SYSTEM OVER LOAD!!" Frankly, it's just too much for me to bear. I'm tired. I really am. 

this is how my life seems right now. Yes, crumbled, messy, or whatever you wanna call it.

Sometimes, I'm even tired of living, but you can relax. This is not my suicidal note. I'm not gonna kill myself, because there's just a part of me that still wants to fight in this war. Right now, I could only hope that things will get better. You know what they say, It's always darkest just before the dawn.

thanks for reading (: