Happy....Right?

Good news, I got the scholarship!
It's a 50% off somestuff but I still need to pay a lot.
I'm happy.
I should be, right?

Many people will be happy to be in my position; to be admitted to one of the most prestigious university with a good community PLUS a scholarship. I should be happy.


But I'm not.
Heck, I just told my mom about this, I sounded like hell, she doesn't give much response.
What should I do?

I'm glad, but I'm sad too. Paying those fees means that I'm giving myself to be arrested. I've bind myself. Somehow, it feels like I'm signing a death sentence. The worst thing, I don't think I'm ready.

I'm not sure I'm ready to give up those fantasies of going away. I'm not ready to give up.
So should I?

Sincerely confused,
-A

Loading...wait, this is definitely error

There are symptoms to be considered before declaring something as ERROR.
Error, according to Dictionary.com, is...wait it's too long to type. but anyway, MY LIFE IS CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE.

Not being sarcastic or whatever, but nothing is working well in my life at the moment. Where should I start? hmmm may be the fact that my BB, the closest technology in my hand to connect and socialize with the world, is broken. Wait, let me rephrase that, IT'S FREAKIN' DEAD. Which mean that I am stuck with my old Nokia phone (which I am still thankful that it is still working) but dead BORED. I've got nothing to do. I can't open twitter, chat with my friends, or even simple stuff like checking recent updates! 

Second, my grade is free falling. I guess I love John Mayer so much that follows what he suggest in his song; free fall. Although I really like the term of free falling, but I would not appreciate it happens with my grade. Simply because I do care about my grade. It's just that my brain and body (and soul to add to that list) are having a pretty hard time connecting with the desire of my heart to get good grades. It's like my brain on vacation for a long. long. long. time. thanks brain, I would totally blame you for the degradation of my scores. thank you.

Last, have I not mentioned?
 I AM DEAD BORED
I HATE BEING BORED. 
ME + BOREDOM = STUPID AND RANDOM STUFF THAT I WILL (PARTLY) REGRET LATER ON.

They say curiosity kills the cat. This time, it's boredom. 

To end this post of my long list of misery, I should add the fact that my typo has increase as days goes by and that there could be virus in my laptop. God bless me. 

declared error,
A

Beautiful Saturday

Sebelum hari ini I was planning to post a blog with the caption:"PEOPLE SHOULD STOP PISSING ME OFF!" Why? Well to be honest, cause I'm angry, pissed to be exact. Bete aja rasanya. Nothing goes right. My school sucks. Semua nilai gw lagi "free fall" menuju entah kemana. GALAU tingkat dewa about uni and stuff, dan keluarga gue yang marah-marah melulu. Not to mention, diet gw yang gagal even before it start, BB who decided to switch to self-destruct mode, and A WEEK FILLED WITH EXAMS AWAITS ME. Rasanya tuh kalau nga marah-marah kurang komplit aja.

So I was left alone today, which sucks, because I've got nothing to do. Well, banyak sih sebenernya yang harus gue kerjain cuman I just don't have the heart to do it...yet. Jadi dari tadi pagi, gue bangun  tidur, dimarah-marahin, pergi makan, pulang,dimarah-marahin lagi, latian piano, nonton "UP" bareng (ade gue yang super cute tapi nyebelinnya juga nga tanggung-tanggung),again dimarahin lagi, shower, etc, and nothing.

Just a normal saturday doing nothing. I don't know about you, tapi this sucks so bad. I hate not doing anyhting, tapi gw juga males dan nga tau mau ngapain. So I spent about 3 hours (?) just listening to John Mayer new album (Highly recommended btw) and watch the last episode of Vampire Diaries 3. Trus....nothing. Uda mati gaya sampe bener-bener nga ngapa-ngapain. Then an idea pops into my head: baca blog manusia-manusia yang uda lama gue nga baca.

Gue mulai baca blog ervan (http://dehakid.blogspot.com/), blog dinda (http://adndadnd.blogspot.com/), dan kak atha's blog (http://nerdusmaximus.blogspot.com/). I LOVE reading their blog, cause it's all so random. Plus, it's better than doing nothing at all, right?

Setelah baca blognya mereka, I feel happy. Mungkin emang agak aneh tapi I feel better. Rasa bete uda mulai menghilang and I feel like blogging. (okay that last part was kinda weird). Tapi it made me realize that life is actually good even with those unwanted sparks.

Life is about messing up a perfectly good condition and fixing it. Life is about (partly) being depressed and get right back on our feet. Life is about being happy, feeling everything. Life is about music, travel, and love and a whole lot of other stuff.

Reading their blogs reminds me that all of us have problems of our own and seeing that they conquer their problem, gives me hope that I'll do too. Meskipun hari ini didn't start good dan belom juga selesai, I'm glad that today happen. Who knows what will happen next?

Kemaren ada sesuatu hal yang aneh tapi fun happened. One of my friend, dia "ngeramal" kemungkinan my other friend dapetin cewe yang dia suka. In his prediction, he says: "Kemungkinan lo dapet si cewe itu cuman sekali dan nga lama." dan tiba-tiba gue ngomong: "Well, if that's the case, then you might as well enjoy the ride." which is surprisingly not a bad advice. I've had my time being pissed.Capek marah-marah, capek bete, dan capek juga ngambek dirumah. My life might be a mess right now, so what? Happiness depends on me. Gue yang bisa buat gue bahagia. Not my friends, not my family, but me. So I'm going to take my own advice and enjoy the ride. Let's see what tomorrow brings :)

Finally chilling out,
A

The Diet Plan Dilemma

Hello again strangers, a lot has happened in the last few weeks I guess since my last post. My fucked up school suddenly dismissed my AWESOME English teacher without giving any explanation (as usual) and leaving us curious as hell wondering what actually has happened and this is a major problem. As teenagers, who if I may add already hate the school, we wanted reason. We want to know reason why certain things happen and when the school is messing with a 7 hour subject per week, they better had a really good explanation for us. Then again, the school is pretty much fck up so it is quite useless to expect them doing so.

Second, I have been eating like a pig. My calendars are filled with lunch and dinners. It's so crazy. Here's a perfect example:

14/9- Monica's dinner at Signature, Kempinski
I ate pasta, steak, peaking duck, a bite of cupcakes, asinan, 2 sushi...can't remember other stuff that I eat there.

THANK YOU MONDOTTT!!! MUAH MUAHH!!!

Taking pictures with polaroids :3

more polaroids

BEST PICTURE EVER!!! LOVE YOU JOVIEE!! :*

15/9- Section A: family lunch
I ate dimsum and if anyone of you know Chinese people's dimsum, you don't just eat a piece or two of siomay or hakka. You eat A LOT OF STUFF. I ate PORK, SIOMAY, DUCK, KWETIAW GORENG, FREAKIN FRIED RICE, BAKPAO, VEGGIES, AND EGG TART. Just look at that list!!!! It's crazy.... and those are the food I remembered eating....damn

Section B: friends
Although I might have eaten lunch with my family it was fate that I meet with my beloved friends: Clarissa, Alyssa, Nadia, Hans, and Josh. I LOVE THEM TO DEATH AND I'VE MISSED THEM QUITE TERRIBLY!!!! So when we do meet up, we kinda get a little crazy. Making this short, I ate Rainbow cake and Red Velvet with them. PS: I LOVE YOU CLARISSA FOR PAYING THOSE DELICIOUS CAKE!!! XOXOXOO

Section C: Bintang's dinner
Yes, I went to another friends dinner, and you do get the point of eating a lot so yea....

with da girls

there are other pictures but it might take a while....

16/9: Family lunch
I can't even imagine that I have another lunch....what makes it worse is that it is filled with PORK. Not that I hate it, but they are soo godamnn delicious!


So you might start to guess the background of this post's title. Most of the girls in my class (or my school if I may add) have a really good body and me...well a little far of the end. hahaha but I hope you do get the point. and the girls are having these diet going on, especially because they are having their sweet 17 soon. and I thought, hey, diet might be a good plan for me.  All I have to do is to eat fruits, veggies, and meat only. How hard could it possibly be?







until I realize that I LOVE MY FOOD.
It might be wrong, but I do love food. I wanted to have a great body but to give up my food...that's something else. So I'm really confused and these dilemmas are not giving me any justice. gaaahhhh this is so stressful. but on the bright side, I'm not giving up. Gonna find alternative, other diet that works for me. So wish me luck!

xoxo, A

My once upon a time body target :')

Hello Again

Hello again World and let me start by introducing someone who I have lost for quite some time, me.

I'm back. I'm feeling like myself. Gw ngerasa kalo ini waktunya buat gw jadi diri gw sendiri. I always thought that it is cool to talk and write in all english, tapi ternyata tuh nga juga. I like my indo-english language that I mixed. Meskipun emang nge-bingungin, but what else can be done?

For quite some times now, I feel that things have changed. Scores are getting lower, I'm getting lazier, and life goes on. Even friendship change. and I feel like I've been wasting some of my time just by thinking too much. Well, gw tipe orang yang emang bakal pusing dengan diri sendiri cause I let myslef think too much, even hal-hal yang nga penting pun bakal gw pikirin. Funny and dumb, all at the same time.

But it's time to change. It's time to bring on the SCREW YOU attitude and just live my life. Though honestly, kayaknya nga bakal mempan-mempan banget, at least I try, right? 

Singkat cerita, gw menemukan beberapa pictures yang relate sama gw from Tumblr and I wanna share it here with you guys! 

This is really INTERESTING STORY. check it out later with (may be the title, FRIENDS FOREVER?)

There's a story behind this, I'll share it some other time.

There are some other pictures that I find relevant to me, but I'll safe it for another time. (YES, gw emang lagi males banget. hahhaa)

but before that, this is something I wanna share last with you all :D

We live only once, but if we live it right once is enough. 

 

 

 

Best regards from the new me, 

Audrey

xoxoxo