Lost Touch

Word of the day: lost touch.

Definition: it's something you say when you have no more connection toward it. It's the disconnection from someone toward somebody else or something. 

Why I remember this word?

Because it appear to me that I have lost touch of something that has been a part of me. 

The effect:  it really create this hole in me.

Truth: it feels like I had just been into a terrible accident I lost my memory. I know that something is missing but I don't know how to gain it back. 

Is it sad?

More than I could explain...

Is it bad?

I can barely survive the thought of it...

Is it the end?

I just hope that it wouldn't have to end that way...

It's like losing a part of you and you found yourself being lost in the middle of no where. Like all cases of amnesia, no one knows when those missing part will be back, or will ever be back but I want it to be back, so that I won't be lost like I am now. So that I could have those ability to do what I like.

 picture taken from tumblr

I am going away for a couple of days. Away from people, away from here to clear my thoughts, to reflect my life, and to hope that everything's going to be okay. 

Catching my breath,

ALJ

Looking out the Window

Everyday I see people forcing a smile in their face as they pass each window car in the traffic light. Most people would just wave away those people away from their cars. Sometime, I did that too. Ignoring the obvious pain that they are experiencing. Little did we know and little did we care about the sadness that lies beneath those face. We veiled ourselves from seeing the reflection of misery through their eyes. We seems to overlook the imprinted sweat in their shirts. And so my heart grief for humanity for there is no more decency that could be found among us. 

I was in my car when I realize the sadness in people's eyes and how they are just plainly trying to survive life. It moves me to see how people are forced to be in a situation that they are in now just because they have no other options. They've tried but nothing seems to work and now they just live to work day by day hoping that someday this might all be better. 

This remind me of an excerpt from the Life of Pi by Yann Martel. "The life of wild animal is simple, noble, and meaningful. Then it is captures by wicked men and thrown into ring jails. Its "happiness" is dashed. It yearns mightily for 'freedom' and does all it can to escape. Being denied its 'freedom' for too long, the animal becomes a shadow of itself, its spirit broken."

Pardon the comparison, but it is true. People's happiness are constantly taken away from them. Happiness might now just be a memory.  Before they work for the community. Before they have no problem in fulfilling their families needs. Before everything is working well. Before they were happy... People are forced into labors because they are trap in the world where money comes first. In fact, we all are trap in a materialistic world. 

 

Is money wrong? No...I guess it's our fault for letting it goes too far. But let's not give up on faith, there's still tomorrow to hope for. We might not be able to do any sort of big things right now, but we live and we learn to fix the problem that we've created so that tomorrow will be a better day especially for them.

From the other side of the window,

ALJ