The Diet Plan Dilemma

Hello again strangers, a lot has happened in the last few weeks I guess since my last post. My fucked up school suddenly dismissed my AWESOME English teacher without giving any explanation (as usual) and leaving us curious as hell wondering what actually has happened and this is a major problem. As teenagers, who if I may add already hate the school, we wanted reason. We want to know reason why certain things happen and when the school is messing with a 7 hour subject per week, they better had a really good explanation for us. Then again, the school is pretty much fck up so it is quite useless to expect them doing so.

Second, I have been eating like a pig. My calendars are filled with lunch and dinners. It's so crazy. Here's a perfect example:

14/9- Monica's dinner at Signature, Kempinski
I ate pasta, steak, peaking duck, a bite of cupcakes, asinan, 2 sushi...can't remember other stuff that I eat there.

THANK YOU MONDOTTT!!! MUAH MUAHH!!!

Taking pictures with polaroids :3

more polaroids

BEST PICTURE EVER!!! LOVE YOU JOVIEE!! :*

15/9- Section A: family lunch
I ate dimsum and if anyone of you know Chinese people's dimsum, you don't just eat a piece or two of siomay or hakka. You eat A LOT OF STUFF. I ate PORK, SIOMAY, DUCK, KWETIAW GORENG, FREAKIN FRIED RICE, BAKPAO, VEGGIES, AND EGG TART. Just look at that list!!!! It's crazy.... and those are the food I remembered eating....damn

Section B: friends
Although I might have eaten lunch with my family it was fate that I meet with my beloved friends: Clarissa, Alyssa, Nadia, Hans, and Josh. I LOVE THEM TO DEATH AND I'VE MISSED THEM QUITE TERRIBLY!!!! So when we do meet up, we kinda get a little crazy. Making this short, I ate Rainbow cake and Red Velvet with them. PS: I LOVE YOU CLARISSA FOR PAYING THOSE DELICIOUS CAKE!!! XOXOXOO

Section C: Bintang's dinner
Yes, I went to another friends dinner, and you do get the point of eating a lot so yea....

with da girls

there are other pictures but it might take a while....

16/9: Family lunch
I can't even imagine that I have another lunch....what makes it worse is that it is filled with PORK. Not that I hate it, but they are soo godamnn delicious!


So you might start to guess the background of this post's title. Most of the girls in my class (or my school if I may add) have a really good body and me...well a little far of the end. hahaha but I hope you do get the point. and the girls are having these diet going on, especially because they are having their sweet 17 soon. and I thought, hey, diet might be a good plan for me.  All I have to do is to eat fruits, veggies, and meat only. How hard could it possibly be?







until I realize that I LOVE MY FOOD.
It might be wrong, but I do love food. I wanted to have a great body but to give up my food...that's something else. So I'm really confused and these dilemmas are not giving me any justice. gaaahhhh this is so stressful. but on the bright side, I'm not giving up. Gonna find alternative, other diet that works for me. So wish me luck!

xoxo, A

My once upon a time body target :')

Hello Again

Hello again World and let me start by introducing someone who I have lost for quite some time, me.

I'm back. I'm feeling like myself. Gw ngerasa kalo ini waktunya buat gw jadi diri gw sendiri. I always thought that it is cool to talk and write in all english, tapi ternyata tuh nga juga. I like my indo-english language that I mixed. Meskipun emang nge-bingungin, but what else can be done?

For quite some times now, I feel that things have changed. Scores are getting lower, I'm getting lazier, and life goes on. Even friendship change. and I feel like I've been wasting some of my time just by thinking too much. Well, gw tipe orang yang emang bakal pusing dengan diri sendiri cause I let myslef think too much, even hal-hal yang nga penting pun bakal gw pikirin. Funny and dumb, all at the same time.

But it's time to change. It's time to bring on the SCREW YOU attitude and just live my life. Though honestly, kayaknya nga bakal mempan-mempan banget, at least I try, right? 

Singkat cerita, gw menemukan beberapa pictures yang relate sama gw from Tumblr and I wanna share it here with you guys! 

This is really INTERESTING STORY. check it out later with (may be the title, FRIENDS FOREVER?)

There's a story behind this, I'll share it some other time.

There are some other pictures that I find relevant to me, but I'll safe it for another time. (YES, gw emang lagi males banget. hahhaa)

but before that, this is something I wanna share last with you all :D

We live only once, but if we live it right once is enough. 

 

 

 

Best regards from the new me, 

Audrey

xoxoxo

Bye-bye Stu

At some point in our life, we have to strengthen up and say goodbye because nothing last forever.

But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Goodbye sucks especially when you have to say it to someone close to you. It sucks because you have to admit that things will never be the same. People are being torn apart by distance and communication is thereby minimized. You won't be able to talk face to face (physically), you won't be able to walk around in a mall together with them and just talk about random stuff. You won't be able to do strange habits.

There's so much to hate about goodbye but on the bright side, goodbye makes you realize how important someone is in your life. You are a good friend Stu and I wish you nothing but the best there in Canada!

I might not have said what I need to say on that piece of card, cause trust me, I don't even know what I wrote there. Or I might  not have finished what I'm suppose to say. So this blog is dedicated especially for you STUART JOSHUA WIJAYA!

Stewieeeeee

Best Friends Forever.

Here's something you might need to know about Stu:

1. He's smart!
 Ever since he got his glasses he became this total genius that his scores rockets to the sky! and when it comes to grammar, he is kinda a grammar nazi :p

2. He's slow
if the hare beats the tortoise, the tortoise might just beat Stu. Yes, he is really slow in action and especially in making decision. I think it might have become his habit of making people wait for him. A great and undeniable example is exam time. Stu will (almost) ALWAYS BE THE LAST to come together with Leon, which long story short takes just as much time as Stu in exam.

3. He got stress out easily

He's white, he's black, and he's Asian!

Not only that he is slow, but he gets frustrated easily. For example, he stresses because he didn't study the night before the test, he stresses during the test because he did not get the answer for a test, and then when the test is returned he stresses because he is not happy about the score that he gets. But it's pure joy seeing him stress.

4. Deep down, he's a nigga!!!
 He is cool like a panda. He's white, he's black, and he's Asian.

5. And a whole lot other things.
The list could go on and on from random to racist to sporty to annoying, but in the end, he is Stewie.

Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better friend myself.

 "Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you. Until we meet again!"

Anonymous

So until we meet again Stu :)

Stu and I (:

Your friend,

Audrey :]

A Little Truth About Me

I tried to sound very happy and fine about things. Trust me, I'm a really good actress. I'm so good that sometimes I even fooled myself in thinking that I am happy. Truth is, I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm not even sure of who I am. I looked back and I don't even recognize that person in the mirror. 

Something that I've been asking myself a lot.

I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment, but my headache is getting the best of me. This blog might sound a bit depressing and lonely, but it's something that I wanted to do in a long time. I guess I've been postponing this post because someone might read it and ask me about it. So I kept in inside of me, and thanks to this headache, I can't hold it anymore. I'm tired of keeping this in my head. I hope that may be by writing this, I won't be as lonely as I am. Hoping that a part of this loneliness might escape me. 
 
I'm lonely. To quote Sid from Ice Age 3 ,"Alone, lonely loner." A part of me just feels empty. Even in a big group with many people around me, I can't help to feel lonely. I may laugh or smile or even joke around, but I'm not really there. 

Do you know what I miss the most? Friends.
Not that I do not have any friends, I've got lots of them, but there's something missing. I feel like I'm an outsider just hanging on a piece of thread called friendship. As cliche as this might sound, I don't feel like I belong in anywhere. *go the distance soundtrack is playing
But it's true. I am not a part of it. Like there is a distance between us. 

Today I found this quote: 

May be this is where I got it all wrong.

"The things you hope for the most are the things that destroy you in the end. #TLS"

 May be I want to have friends so badly that at the end, it turns out to be like this. It's sad and I wonder what happened? and I think I know the answer. I lost my confidence. I'm not really sure how to explain this but yea..

See the picture there? That's where I got it all wrong. All this time, always have and always been thinking that friends makes me happy. I believed it so much that I depend to much on my friends for my happiness. That's where I got it all wrong. Not saying that you don't need friend. I'm just saying that for me, it's time to make my own happiness, not other people. I'm really sorry if this blog is kinda depressing but I just wanna let it out right now. Feel free to ask.

A

Run

Expecation

There is nothing that I would love to do more than to run, right now. I'm serious.In don't mean running away from home or that sort of stuff. I mean, really run like what my school forces all of its student to do every half-semester. I do not know what sort of other world spirit that has gotten into me, but lately, I want to do nothing but to run.

Reality

Not to burn calories, or sports (that comes later) and yes, I might suck at running but that's not the point. What I like about running is that feeling when the wind rustling through your hair and the exhaustion. WOW. That's just all that I need. To be away for a moment and run. Just to push myself away from reality. It has become my stress relief. It exhaust every part of me. My legs, my lungs, and my mind; and that's good for me or else, I'll be putting myself under a greater pressure of thinking too much. That's not good you know. Especially for me. 

Lucky for me, Holiday is here. yaaayyy. #sarcasm

Holiday is kinda my worst enemy right now since in holiday, I don't really do much and the time that I have is spent on day dreaming and thinking and regrets and so forth. Even when I'm trying to busy myself with things, there will always be time when I started to think of some stuff and ended up being a sour puss for the day.

I curse. I say all those bad words from daaymmnnn to shtssss and everything else in between. I'm just upset with this life. Nothing seems to work and sadly, I don't care about it anymore. The littlest thing enrage me. I'm mad at myself for days. Some of you might called it PMS. Trust me, it's not PMS.Why? Because I know very well that this is something greater than PMS. Let me put it this way, if I am a computer, this is the part where the screen turns red and shout "SYSTEM OVER LOAD!!" Frankly, it's just too much for me to bear. I'm tired. I really am. 

this is how my life seems right now. Yes, crumbled, messy, or whatever you wanna call it.

Sometimes, I'm even tired of living, but you can relax. This is not my suicidal note. I'm not gonna kill myself, because there's just a part of me that still wants to fight in this war. Right now, I could only hope that things will get better. You know what they say, It's always darkest just before the dawn.

thanks for reading (:

The Mess

When you think that your life is good, life knocks you down and said otherwise.

What do you do when your whole life is a mess? Wait, let me change the question.What do you do when all of a sudden life turns you inside out and left you with the mess it made?

Sometimes you just wanna run away.

Probably a stupid question, but this is something that we might face in our life. One day you think that things are getting better, and the next day things turn 180 from bad to worst. Want some reasons?

Here some:

1. THE PEEP
Say that there is this "someone" that every body likes but has no clue that everybody likes this person. Let's call this person A. So A is very much liked by people and just can't stop sticking around you. It might seem that they can't live without you. You tried your very best to put on a sincere smile and just try to get over the day with A. Suppose you are at your worst day and A is there (like always) for you. You are feeling dumb in physics class and this A who you clearly HAD NO PROBLEM WITH  just happen to keep on asking you stuff. And when you left the class, A cleans up for your mess.
Truth: this is what happened to me today and as sweet as that may sound, I don't really like it. Of course, I acted out of my current emotions (which by the way are not in a good way) and now I feel terribly guilty. Well, if there's something I can do to change how I feel about A, I honestly would. As for right now, I think its better if I stay away from her... if ever that is possible. *God, I pray A doesn't read my blog.

This picture is dedicated to A

I'm so sorry if I am mean, but there's no way I'm hiding it anymore.

2. THE I-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT'S-WRONG PERSON
Okay. Long story short, I am now stuck with a person, by no means is stubborn that for no reason (that I know of) this person does not want to talk to me. It's was all OKAY in the beginning, and frankly it was actually good. But things just change in a snap of a finger and wow...we're not a complete stranger to each other. First, it pissed me off. and honestly, that's just it. I'M PISSED OFF not because this person is not talking to me, but because I have no idea what is wrong and what's going on. Plus this person and I has something that needed to be done. Not praying for things to be GREAT but just OKAY IS ENOUGH FOR ME. I tried but there is no respond and I'm tired of trying so if this what this person wants, then congratulation, you've won your way.

If you think this person is a lovey-dovey of mine, I hate to break the news but you are wrong.

3. THE TRAFFIC

This is how I feel in traffic

For some of you that do not know, I live in Jakarta and my school is located at the west end of it in Lippo Karawaci and let me tell you one thing about Jakarta, THE TRAFFIC IS FANTASTIC! Where else would you find a 2 hour traffic for no reason??? It's just great with the fact that I am terrible hungry, but you  know everything is nice when it is in traffic. NOT.

A BEAUTIFUL MESS?
Jason Mraz says that it's a beautiful mess, but honestly right now, I don't think that there is any beauty in my life. Well, may be there is sparks of beauty. Life is funny, in a way. Just as I wrote this down, I think of the little cute things that happened today, like teaching my friends physics (and they actually understand), reading my friends blog. It made me think....

May be underneath all these ugly mess,
Life might be a beautiful mess after all.

Audrey 2012


ps: I found this picture and figure to share with you. LOVE THE COLORS! :]

Macaroons *hearts

Another Crazy Time

Long time since I post my last blog. Not that anyone read it, but it is kinda nice. This blog is like my own sanctuary where I could just post anything and had no one to talk about it. Well, it is kinda nice when people wanted to read your blog too, but may be that does not happen to me. So I really have nothing to worry about. Wanted to actually post some picture from my friend, Evania Ingrid's party, but unfortunately, I could not found the cable data that connects my cam to my laptop.

So anyway, these last view months has been nothing sort of the ordinary. Actually it's rather all up and beyond. New things and crazy adventure, and yes, like always, more embarrassing moments for me. Although it is kinda sad, but I think doing something silly works for me. I'm not proud of it, but when I looked back, it doesn't really matter cause I had fun.

Here's a couple things that happened during those last months:

1. I joined my school basketball team (GO EAGLES!) and yet I still feel guilty for leaving volley. Well, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm turning my back on volleyball, they had this break so I think, why not play basketball in the mean time? But that got translated into totally different meaning by my school. It is now official that I have betrayed volleyball. (sometime the thought of this still hurts, but it's in the past and that's other people's opinion)

2. My school joined DBL. If any of you didn't know what DBL is, it's simply a basketball competition for a region. and yes, it is a big thing. And praise the Lord, even with  our really short time to practice we got to the final four.

3. I met new friends. Ever since bball, I got a new bunch of friends. I like it. Just being with new people. Learning new things about everything. It's just fun (in my opinion). And by now, more people know that I have good english (in their opinion, not mine) that they say that my english is like "mencret" (for those of you who do not know what mencret it.....ummm it's like waterfall, in a way (?))

4. DISCIPLE CONCERT! okay, so I really have to thanks my dear, beloved, friend, VELLYSIA TIMOTIUS for inviting me to disciple concert. Disciple is a hip-hop band who sings religious songs in a very AWESOME WAY! I am so stunned and whenever I listened to their music it always brings me back to that concert where everything is just aweeeesomeeee. HARDCORE!!!! May be another thing is that the members are soooooooooo cute! Their style, their songs, THEY ROCK TO THE CORE! and yes, I got a little starstruck, but that's a different story.

5. Love is in the air. I mean literally, there are a lot of love going on. From real love to teasing someone has a girlfriend kinda thing. It has seriously becomes our habit as a class to tease people that they like someone who obviously they do not like. And of course, high school crush and so on. Which really makes me wonder if I would ever have a boyfriend and what's it's like to have one. (So yes, I am still single).

6. SPH CUP, DUFAN, our last english project. Man, there's really a lot of things going on in my life. hahaaa

 

7. wow there are a lot of things :p 

          May 5th, 2012 a day where a lot of things happen. let's start from the very beginning:

    1. I need to go to school today (which is a saturday) to take my World History final exam which should have been done, yesterday. thanks to CIO (just kidding, you help a lot :p), who reply my bbm so long, I decided to go full uniform to that test. Well, I kinda freak out cause I missed my time and I would really like to have the opportunity to do my exam. So it is very safe to use uniform, no excuse that I can't take my exam. And I'm pretty sure, I did a really good job :D

     2. UPHC vs. DH-DM. after my exam, our team has bball sparring, which we won! 31-20 if I am not mistaken. After that, the boys team also won againts DHDM, so it's really excited. This game is like a farewell game for our senior so at the end of the day, Anita and I took picture with our bball senior (which is kinda sick (in a good way), they ROCK!)

    3. And then the road to the party. wow it's a long story and I am feeling very tired. Point is, I kinda messed things up when I didn't tell my driver that I need him to sent me to the party and he left because he had some "important issue" which I do not know. My dad is gone to GYM and I can't contact him to send me. I tried talking to my gramps about taking a taxi and go and my dad will pick me up later, but it turns out they are too worried to let me. So for about half and hour, I sunk in my chair, feeling like a spoiled brat who wants so badly to go, but can't, and I think I might be showing some attitude there (Sorry gramps, I LOVE YOUU :*) and just as I bbm, I really wanted to go, so I actually did. I pick up all the courage that is instilled in my bones and talk again to my gramps, and miraculously, they agreed. So I went and party!!! well, more like watching, (I'm not party type of person, I guess).

      4. The car talk. after the party, I was picked up by my dad and we had this awkward and yet interesting conversation. we talked about my dad's past when he was high school. He said he didn't do much while he was in Singapore, but things got to turn when he went to U.S. Well, in short, he's a really cool that, even cooler than me. He just dropped me off at my house and then we went again to this friend's party....

So that's pretty much it, well highlights I should say.But  it was great! AWESOME AND CRAZY! Can't wait to see what happens next in the story of my life! 

xoxo, 

ALJ #14

ps: I got this cool taxi driver otw to Ingrid's b'day party and we talked about things from the government, police, and the taxi business. pretty cool, huh? (:

pps: Sorry it it got a little boring :p