Happy....Right?

Good news, I got the scholarship!
It's a 50% off somestuff but I still need to pay a lot.
I'm happy.
I should be, right?

Many people will be happy to be in my position; to be admitted to one of the most prestigious university with a good community PLUS a scholarship. I should be happy.


But I'm not.
Heck, I just told my mom about this, I sounded like hell, she doesn't give much response.
What should I do?

I'm glad, but I'm sad too. Paying those fees means that I'm giving myself to be arrested. I've bind myself. Somehow, it feels like I'm signing a death sentence. The worst thing, I don't think I'm ready.

I'm not sure I'm ready to give up those fantasies of going away. I'm not ready to give up.
So should I?

Sincerely confused,
-A