Run

Expecation

There is nothing that I would love to do more than to run, right now. I'm serious.In don't mean running away from home or that sort of stuff. I mean, really run like what my school forces all of its student to do every half-semester. I do not know what sort of other world spirit that has gotten into me, but lately, I want to do nothing but to run.

Reality

Not to burn calories, or sports (that comes later) and yes, I might suck at running but that's not the point. What I like about running is that feeling when the wind rustling through your hair and the exhaustion. WOW. That's just all that I need. To be away for a moment and run. Just to push myself away from reality. It has become my stress relief. It exhaust every part of me. My legs, my lungs, and my mind; and that's good for me or else, I'll be putting myself under a greater pressure of thinking too much. That's not good you know. Especially for me. 

Lucky for me, Holiday is here. yaaayyy. #sarcasm

Holiday is kinda my worst enemy right now since in holiday, I don't really do much and the time that I have is spent on day dreaming and thinking and regrets and so forth. Even when I'm trying to busy myself with things, there will always be time when I started to think of some stuff and ended up being a sour puss for the day.

I curse. I say all those bad words from daaymmnnn to shtssss and everything else in between. I'm just upset with this life. Nothing seems to work and sadly, I don't care about it anymore. The littlest thing enrage me. I'm mad at myself for days. Some of you might called it PMS. Trust me, it's not PMS.Why? Because I know very well that this is something greater than PMS. Let me put it this way, if I am a computer, this is the part where the screen turns red and shout "SYSTEM OVER LOAD!!" Frankly, it's just too much for me to bear. I'm tired. I really am. 

this is how my life seems right now. Yes, crumbled, messy, or whatever you wanna call it.

Sometimes, I'm even tired of living, but you can relax. This is not my suicidal note. I'm not gonna kill myself, because there's just a part of me that still wants to fight in this war. Right now, I could only hope that things will get better. You know what they say, It's always darkest just before the dawn.

thanks for reading (:

The Mess

When you think that your life is good, life knocks you down and said otherwise.

What do you do when your whole life is a mess? Wait, let me change the question.What do you do when all of a sudden life turns you inside out and left you with the mess it made?

Sometimes you just wanna run away.

Probably a stupid question, but this is something that we might face in our life. One day you think that things are getting better, and the next day things turn 180 from bad to worst. Want some reasons?

Here some:

1. THE PEEP
Say that there is this "someone" that every body likes but has no clue that everybody likes this person. Let's call this person A. So A is very much liked by people and just can't stop sticking around you. It might seem that they can't live without you. You tried your very best to put on a sincere smile and just try to get over the day with A. Suppose you are at your worst day and A is there (like always) for you. You are feeling dumb in physics class and this A who you clearly HAD NO PROBLEM WITH  just happen to keep on asking you stuff. And when you left the class, A cleans up for your mess.
Truth: this is what happened to me today and as sweet as that may sound, I don't really like it. Of course, I acted out of my current emotions (which by the way are not in a good way) and now I feel terribly guilty. Well, if there's something I can do to change how I feel about A, I honestly would. As for right now, I think its better if I stay away from her... if ever that is possible. *God, I pray A doesn't read my blog.

This picture is dedicated to A

I'm so sorry if I am mean, but there's no way I'm hiding it anymore.

2. THE I-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT'S-WRONG PERSON
Okay. Long story short, I am now stuck with a person, by no means is stubborn that for no reason (that I know of) this person does not want to talk to me. It's was all OKAY in the beginning, and frankly it was actually good. But things just change in a snap of a finger and wow...we're not a complete stranger to each other. First, it pissed me off. and honestly, that's just it. I'M PISSED OFF not because this person is not talking to me, but because I have no idea what is wrong and what's going on. Plus this person and I has something that needed to be done. Not praying for things to be GREAT but just OKAY IS ENOUGH FOR ME. I tried but there is no respond and I'm tired of trying so if this what this person wants, then congratulation, you've won your way.

If you think this person is a lovey-dovey of mine, I hate to break the news but you are wrong.

3. THE TRAFFIC

This is how I feel in traffic

For some of you that do not know, I live in Jakarta and my school is located at the west end of it in Lippo Karawaci and let me tell you one thing about Jakarta, THE TRAFFIC IS FANTASTIC! Where else would you find a 2 hour traffic for no reason??? It's just great with the fact that I am terrible hungry, but you  know everything is nice when it is in traffic. NOT.

A BEAUTIFUL MESS?
Jason Mraz says that it's a beautiful mess, but honestly right now, I don't think that there is any beauty in my life. Well, may be there is sparks of beauty. Life is funny, in a way. Just as I wrote this down, I think of the little cute things that happened today, like teaching my friends physics (and they actually understand), reading my friends blog. It made me think....

May be underneath all these ugly mess,
Life might be a beautiful mess after all.

Audrey 2012


ps: I found this picture and figure to share with you. LOVE THE COLORS! :]

Macaroons *hearts

Another Crazy Time

Long time since I post my last blog. Not that anyone read it, but it is kinda nice. This blog is like my own sanctuary where I could just post anything and had no one to talk about it. Well, it is kinda nice when people wanted to read your blog too, but may be that does not happen to me. So I really have nothing to worry about. Wanted to actually post some picture from my friend, Evania Ingrid's party, but unfortunately, I could not found the cable data that connects my cam to my laptop.

So anyway, these last view months has been nothing sort of the ordinary. Actually it's rather all up and beyond. New things and crazy adventure, and yes, like always, more embarrassing moments for me. Although it is kinda sad, but I think doing something silly works for me. I'm not proud of it, but when I looked back, it doesn't really matter cause I had fun.

Here's a couple things that happened during those last months:

1. I joined my school basketball team (GO EAGLES!) and yet I still feel guilty for leaving volley. Well, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm turning my back on volleyball, they had this break so I think, why not play basketball in the mean time? But that got translated into totally different meaning by my school. It is now official that I have betrayed volleyball. (sometime the thought of this still hurts, but it's in the past and that's other people's opinion)

2. My school joined DBL. If any of you didn't know what DBL is, it's simply a basketball competition for a region. and yes, it is a big thing. And praise the Lord, even with  our really short time to practice we got to the final four.

3. I met new friends. Ever since bball, I got a new bunch of friends. I like it. Just being with new people. Learning new things about everything. It's just fun (in my opinion). And by now, more people know that I have good english (in their opinion, not mine) that they say that my english is like "mencret" (for those of you who do not know what mencret it.....ummm it's like waterfall, in a way (?))

4. DISCIPLE CONCERT! okay, so I really have to thanks my dear, beloved, friend, VELLYSIA TIMOTIUS for inviting me to disciple concert. Disciple is a hip-hop band who sings religious songs in a very AWESOME WAY! I am so stunned and whenever I listened to their music it always brings me back to that concert where everything is just aweeeesomeeee. HARDCORE!!!! May be another thing is that the members are soooooooooo cute! Their style, their songs, THEY ROCK TO THE CORE! and yes, I got a little starstruck, but that's a different story.

5. Love is in the air. I mean literally, there are a lot of love going on. From real love to teasing someone has a girlfriend kinda thing. It has seriously becomes our habit as a class to tease people that they like someone who obviously they do not like. And of course, high school crush and so on. Which really makes me wonder if I would ever have a boyfriend and what's it's like to have one. (So yes, I am still single).

6. SPH CUP, DUFAN, our last english project. Man, there's really a lot of things going on in my life. hahaaa

 

7. wow there are a lot of things :p 

          May 5th, 2012 a day where a lot of things happen. let's start from the very beginning:

    1. I need to go to school today (which is a saturday) to take my World History final exam which should have been done, yesterday. thanks to CIO (just kidding, you help a lot :p), who reply my bbm so long, I decided to go full uniform to that test. Well, I kinda freak out cause I missed my time and I would really like to have the opportunity to do my exam. So it is very safe to use uniform, no excuse that I can't take my exam. And I'm pretty sure, I did a really good job :D

     2. UPHC vs. DH-DM. after my exam, our team has bball sparring, which we won! 31-20 if I am not mistaken. After that, the boys team also won againts DHDM, so it's really excited. This game is like a farewell game for our senior so at the end of the day, Anita and I took picture with our bball senior (which is kinda sick (in a good way), they ROCK!)

    3. And then the road to the party. wow it's a long story and I am feeling very tired. Point is, I kinda messed things up when I didn't tell my driver that I need him to sent me to the party and he left because he had some "important issue" which I do not know. My dad is gone to GYM and I can't contact him to send me. I tried talking to my gramps about taking a taxi and go and my dad will pick me up later, but it turns out they are too worried to let me. So for about half and hour, I sunk in my chair, feeling like a spoiled brat who wants so badly to go, but can't, and I think I might be showing some attitude there (Sorry gramps, I LOVE YOUU :*) and just as I bbm, I really wanted to go, so I actually did. I pick up all the courage that is instilled in my bones and talk again to my gramps, and miraculously, they agreed. So I went and party!!! well, more like watching, (I'm not party type of person, I guess).

      4. The car talk. after the party, I was picked up by my dad and we had this awkward and yet interesting conversation. we talked about my dad's past when he was high school. He said he didn't do much while he was in Singapore, but things got to turn when he went to U.S. Well, in short, he's a really cool that, even cooler than me. He just dropped me off at my house and then we went again to this friend's party....

So that's pretty much it, well highlights I should say.But  it was great! AWESOME AND CRAZY! Can't wait to see what happens next in the story of my life! 

xoxo, 

ALJ #14

ps: I got this cool taxi driver otw to Ingrid's b'day party and we talked about things from the government, police, and the taxi business. pretty cool, huh? (:

pps: Sorry it it got a little boring :p

Something that I learn

Hari ini bener-bener berbeda dari hari lainnya karena jujur aja gw belajar begitu banyak hal yang bener-bener wow. Untuk pertama gw sadar kalo it's okay to be wrong. Selama ini sering banget gw takut ngelakuin kesalahan. Takut komentar orang-orang.

Tapi, at the end of the day, it's about me doing what I want, learning things my way. 

Salah itu wajar dan buat salah bukan sesuatu yang memalukan. Justru kita bisa belajar lebih banyak dari kesalahan itu.Kita semua mulai dari dasar. Kita mau ngejar mimpi juga semua mulai dari yang paling bawah and when you're starting from zero, you've got nothing to lose. Nga ada yang harus di takutin. Namanya juga baru nyoba, kalo nga bisa ya coba yang lain. 

In the end, it's about seizing the moment; carpe diem. It's about taking chances, and breaking free from all the fears. It's about living in this life. 

Am still learning, 

Aodre

Last day being 16

Damn, still can't believe my life as a 16 years old will end soon, in  matter of minutes. By now, my life as 16 has been colored with many many interesting things. From publicly embarrassing myself, to silent tears, to crazy laughter, to songs, and yes numerous stupid things. I can't stop to think what a mess I might look like, but truth is, I don't care.

There are ups and downs this year. Life truly is a roller coaster but it sure is one hell of a good ride. And honestly, I can't wait for 17 to start.Wish me luck

Almost 17,
Aodre

Just Some Awesome Things and Some Random Things

Today, out of the many days is somewhat great!

Here's some reason why:

1. I did some work (like real work) at this place called 99. Just as a food runner. For people who don't know what a food runner is, look it up online. Kidding :p Food runner is basically a person who give the food from the kitchen to the table or to the waitress.

My first day, it was kinda great. I get to hear all this confusing menu, and actually give the wrong order for the customer. Met some great people. But the problem is that I don't know what I'll be back working there. My timing kinda sucks.

2. Cece's 17th party. Well, it's a party and you know how it is ;) Just some pics

3. and last goes to my cousin, KRISTI. She really made my day! and here's why:

 

my cousin has a weird and yet very random sense of humor. She really made my day.

but I really want to close today with something that I read from Paulo Coelho blog: he wrote,

"We may think at times that the only thing life offers us tomorrow, is to repeat everything we did today. But if we pay close attention, we will see that no two days are alike.
Each morning brings a hidden blessing; a blessing which is unique to that day, and which cannot be kept or re-used. If we do not use this miracle today, it will be lost."

I don't know what's got into me, but this really strikes me hard. All these time I've kept thinking about how I should be more active in my social life and just have some fun. I've been ALWAYS THINKING, but never did anything. But today, well I kinda did something different. To be honest, some of the things I did today was completely out of the blue and today's just the start. No time for sulking around. No time for complaining. Just live and well, be as crazy as you wanted to be. I live with another resolution, to make the best use of everyday of my life. To take chances and just live. 

Good night world, 

Drey.

Monday Jackpot

Don't you just "love" Mondays?  Who doesn't? It's where brute reality ruins our good weekend. It's back to waking up early and do our regular stuff. 

I like to refer myself to Garfield. Yes, that fat, lazy, and horrible cute cat who, like me, dread Monday. It's kinda like we have an agreement with Monday, they don't mess with us, we don't mess with them. But unfortunately for me, it doesn't work like that. Today is a "WONDERFUL MONDAY" 

I mean seriously, I woke up with a major headache and a stadium four stomachache, I lost my school tie, which frankly made me look like a rebel, and my phone got confiscated. Oh! but that's not the end, you see. Later on, I had this physics quiz, which believe me is the most accursed physics question I ever did. Quite a list, huh?

But something came through my mind as I (strangely) laugh at the situation. Nicholas Sparks once said:

"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."

Some might say that it's just psychological thing, but may be it worth the try. I mean seriously, I don't want any day to be like this ever again. Overall, this is quite a silly mistake. A stupid one I should say, but nothing's gonna bring me down. I would like to think it this way, when bad luck had their time, surely good luck will follow. And while that's going to happen, I'm going to start to always look on the bright side of life. Time's too precious to be wasted like that.

 So let's just smile and enjoy the life we have :]

 xoxo, Aodre

S