Soulmate and stuff like that

Let me tell you guys what I am currently heads over heels with. And yes, I am perfectly aware that I use the word "you guys" even though I'm pretty sure no one reads this, but for my own pure pleasure, why the hell not.

Anyway, I am currently obsessed with this idea of finding our other half, our soulmate, or call it whatever you like. It is this idea that we are always searching for that someone that would complete us in everyway. Someone who would finish our sentences. Someone who gets our stupid jokes. Someone who can read our expression like they are reading their favorite bed time stories. Someone who is all sense of the word...complete us.

This of course starts with my reading (although it is pretty average, but I am somewhat proud of my achievement). Right now I am reading "Looking for Alaska" by  no other than John Green and I am in love with it. 

Not because it's about a boy who falls in love with a girl. But it's about finding that special someone that could turn your life around. Someone who challenges you to be different. Someone who takes you to the dark side deep enough to show us how to forget about the world and live for a while.

Well there's that and if it is not enough, the music I'm currently listening to also touch these subject. Justin Timberlake's Mirror, Ed Sheeran's Wake Me Up and Kiss Me, the Maine, these four words. God, they are all so fucking amazing and just drive me insane with their music. 

Let me show you what I mean.

Mirror

Cause I don't wanna lose you nowI'm looking right at the other half of meThe vacancy that sat in my heartIs a space that now you holdShow me how to fight for nowAnd I'll tell you, baby, it was easyComing back into you once I figured it outYou were right here all alongIt's like you're my mirrorMy mirror staring back at meI couldn't get any biggerWith anyone else beside of meAnd now it's clear as this promiseThat we're making two reflections into one'Cause it's like you're my mirror

and that's just one out of the many songs.


And then there's Hollywood. What movie am I specifically talking about? Pacific Rim. I mean, it talks about finding that someone who is compatible for you. Someone who match you, in a way that you could work together and have that special bond. I know it sound cheezy but it is the truth.

And honestly right now, I am obsessed with this concept. This idea of finding that someone. I guess that's what we all will search for eventually.  I haven't found mine and I hope he won't be long. 


Hugs and kisses, 
A

Me.

Here's something that I never tell to anyone, but it's time for the truth.

I can travel to any place I want with a blink of an eye. From a crowded room. From the boring classroom. From myself. and From reality.

Call me a wallflower, because may be that's what I am. Someone who sees and knows stuff but never was a part of anything. Sometimes, I got sad over the smallest detail that didn't go right. And most of the time, I think too much of stuff and people that is not important. That's why I am going to commit myself to something. To give it my full attention so that I won't get distracted by my own mind. 

So for those who might wonder who I am, this is yours truly. Weird and awkward, A.

Hello Again

Hello again World and let me start by introducing someone who I have lost for quite some time, me.

I'm back. I'm feeling like myself. Gw ngerasa kalo ini waktunya buat gw jadi diri gw sendiri. I always thought that it is cool to talk and write in all english, tapi ternyata tuh nga juga. I like my indo-english language that I mixed. Meskipun emang nge-bingungin, but what else can be done?

For quite some times now, I feel that things have changed. Scores are getting lower, I'm getting lazier, and life goes on. Even friendship change. and I feel like I've been wasting some of my time just by thinking too much. Well, gw tipe orang yang emang bakal pusing dengan diri sendiri cause I let myslef think too much, even hal-hal yang nga penting pun bakal gw pikirin. Funny and dumb, all at the same time.

But it's time to change. It's time to bring on the SCREW YOU attitude and just live my life. Though honestly, kayaknya nga bakal mempan-mempan banget, at least I try, right? 

Singkat cerita, gw menemukan beberapa pictures yang relate sama gw from Tumblr and I wanna share it here with you guys! 

This is really INTERESTING STORY. check it out later with (may be the title, FRIENDS FOREVER?)

There's a story behind this, I'll share it some other time.

There are some other pictures that I find relevant to me, but I'll safe it for another time. (YES, gw emang lagi males banget. hahhaa)

but before that, this is something I wanna share last with you all :D

We live only once, but if we live it right once is enough. 

 

 

 

Best regards from the new me, 

Audrey

xoxoxo

A Little Truth About Me

I tried to sound very happy and fine about things. Trust me, I'm a really good actress. I'm so good that sometimes I even fooled myself in thinking that I am happy. Truth is, I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm not even sure of who I am. I looked back and I don't even recognize that person in the mirror. 

Something that I've been asking myself a lot.

I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment, but my headache is getting the best of me. This blog might sound a bit depressing and lonely, but it's something that I wanted to do in a long time. I guess I've been postponing this post because someone might read it and ask me about it. So I kept in inside of me, and thanks to this headache, I can't hold it anymore. I'm tired of keeping this in my head. I hope that may be by writing this, I won't be as lonely as I am. Hoping that a part of this loneliness might escape me. 
 
I'm lonely. To quote Sid from Ice Age 3 ,"Alone, lonely loner." A part of me just feels empty. Even in a big group with many people around me, I can't help to feel lonely. I may laugh or smile or even joke around, but I'm not really there. 

Do you know what I miss the most? Friends.
Not that I do not have any friends, I've got lots of them, but there's something missing. I feel like I'm an outsider just hanging on a piece of thread called friendship. As cliche as this might sound, I don't feel like I belong in anywhere. *go the distance soundtrack is playing
But it's true. I am not a part of it. Like there is a distance between us. 

Today I found this quote: 

May be this is where I got it all wrong.

"The things you hope for the most are the things that destroy you in the end. #TLS"

 May be I want to have friends so badly that at the end, it turns out to be like this. It's sad and I wonder what happened? and I think I know the answer. I lost my confidence. I'm not really sure how to explain this but yea..

See the picture there? That's where I got it all wrong. All this time, always have and always been thinking that friends makes me happy. I believed it so much that I depend to much on my friends for my happiness. That's where I got it all wrong. Not saying that you don't need friend. I'm just saying that for me, it's time to make my own happiness, not other people. I'm really sorry if this blog is kinda depressing but I just wanna let it out right now. Feel free to ask.

A

Something that I learn

Hari ini bener-bener berbeda dari hari lainnya karena jujur aja gw belajar begitu banyak hal yang bener-bener wow. Untuk pertama gw sadar kalo it's okay to be wrong. Selama ini sering banget gw takut ngelakuin kesalahan. Takut komentar orang-orang.

Tapi, at the end of the day, it's about me doing what I want, learning things my way. 

Salah itu wajar dan buat salah bukan sesuatu yang memalukan. Justru kita bisa belajar lebih banyak dari kesalahan itu.Kita semua mulai dari dasar. Kita mau ngejar mimpi juga semua mulai dari yang paling bawah and when you're starting from zero, you've got nothing to lose. Nga ada yang harus di takutin. Namanya juga baru nyoba, kalo nga bisa ya coba yang lain. 

In the end, it's about seizing the moment; carpe diem. It's about taking chances, and breaking free from all the fears. It's about living in this life. 

Am still learning, 

Aodre