Run

Expecation

There is nothing that I would love to do more than to run, right now. I'm serious.In don't mean running away from home or that sort of stuff. I mean, really run like what my school forces all of its student to do every half-semester. I do not know what sort of other world spirit that has gotten into me, but lately, I want to do nothing but to run.

Reality

Not to burn calories, or sports (that comes later) and yes, I might suck at running but that's not the point. What I like about running is that feeling when the wind rustling through your hair and the exhaustion. WOW. That's just all that I need. To be away for a moment and run. Just to push myself away from reality. It has become my stress relief. It exhaust every part of me. My legs, my lungs, and my mind; and that's good for me or else, I'll be putting myself under a greater pressure of thinking too much. That's not good you know. Especially for me. 

Lucky for me, Holiday is here. yaaayyy. #sarcasm

Holiday is kinda my worst enemy right now since in holiday, I don't really do much and the time that I have is spent on day dreaming and thinking and regrets and so forth. Even when I'm trying to busy myself with things, there will always be time when I started to think of some stuff and ended up being a sour puss for the day.

I curse. I say all those bad words from daaymmnnn to shtssss and everything else in between. I'm just upset with this life. Nothing seems to work and sadly, I don't care about it anymore. The littlest thing enrage me. I'm mad at myself for days. Some of you might called it PMS. Trust me, it's not PMS.Why? Because I know very well that this is something greater than PMS. Let me put it this way, if I am a computer, this is the part where the screen turns red and shout "SYSTEM OVER LOAD!!" Frankly, it's just too much for me to bear. I'm tired. I really am. 

this is how my life seems right now. Yes, crumbled, messy, or whatever you wanna call it.

Sometimes, I'm even tired of living, but you can relax. This is not my suicidal note. I'm not gonna kill myself, because there's just a part of me that still wants to fight in this war. Right now, I could only hope that things will get better. You know what they say, It's always darkest just before the dawn.

thanks for reading (: