Late Night Post...well almost midnight

Hey there readers, imaginary and non-imaginary

So here I am all alone in the middle of the night trying to patiently wait for a movie buffer, which takes ages. fckyouslowinternet. And what better way to spent it than create a rambling right here, right now.

Let me describe the scenery at the moment:
The night was cold and it was lonely. The other souls that live in this house is basically asleep unlike me. God help my sleepless soul. I had my warm milo next to me, sitting in a really comfy chair, and had my hands on the keyboards. I had my cousin's dog, which smells bad because no one is giving him the shower he needed, oh and who is also asleep. However, all this has zero relation as to what I am about to say next.

I miss my sister. and I miss my brother.

Why this sudden feeling? It's because I really do miss them. Long story short, I haven't been living in my home for almost a month now. I've moved from place to place, mostly my cousins house (and don't worry, I'm not homeless) because I am doing a house-sitting. For those of you who do not know what a house-sitting is, it is like baby-sitting, but with a house.

Anywaaaaayyyy,
I have not since them ever since and it just made me realize how I much they actually matters to me. I thank God that this time, I realize that before it is too late. You know how the saying goes: you don't know what you have until it's gone. I'm guilty as well cause there are times when I let the good things go just because I thought that there would be something better for me, but sometimes, you just have to believe that what you have is the best. Sometimes you gotta get rid of that thought that there is something better out there, or I am missing out from the world, or any common non-sense like that.

Sometimes, my dear friend, you have to stop and just appreciate what you have right now.

Pretty deep, don't know how I reach to that point but for what is worth, really do appreciate what you have, especially people who didn't take you for granted.

Adios for now!!
-A

Soulmate and stuff like that

Let me tell you guys what I am currently heads over heels with. And yes, I am perfectly aware that I use the word "you guys" even though I'm pretty sure no one reads this, but for my own pure pleasure, why the hell not.

Anyway, I am currently obsessed with this idea of finding our other half, our soulmate, or call it whatever you like. It is this idea that we are always searching for that someone that would complete us in everyway. Someone who would finish our sentences. Someone who gets our stupid jokes. Someone who can read our expression like they are reading their favorite bed time stories. Someone who is all sense of the word...complete us.

This of course starts with my reading (although it is pretty average, but I am somewhat proud of my achievement). Right now I am reading "Looking for Alaska" by  no other than John Green and I am in love with it. 

Not because it's about a boy who falls in love with a girl. But it's about finding that special someone that could turn your life around. Someone who challenges you to be different. Someone who takes you to the dark side deep enough to show us how to forget about the world and live for a while.

Well there's that and if it is not enough, the music I'm currently listening to also touch these subject. Justin Timberlake's Mirror, Ed Sheeran's Wake Me Up and Kiss Me, the Maine, these four words. God, they are all so fucking amazing and just drive me insane with their music. 

Let me show you what I mean.

Mirror

Cause I don't wanna lose you nowI'm looking right at the other half of meThe vacancy that sat in my heartIs a space that now you holdShow me how to fight for nowAnd I'll tell you, baby, it was easyComing back into you once I figured it outYou were right here all alongIt's like you're my mirrorMy mirror staring back at meI couldn't get any biggerWith anyone else beside of meAnd now it's clear as this promiseThat we're making two reflections into one'Cause it's like you're my mirror

and that's just one out of the many songs.


And then there's Hollywood. What movie am I specifically talking about? Pacific Rim. I mean, it talks about finding that someone who is compatible for you. Someone who match you, in a way that you could work together and have that special bond. I know it sound cheezy but it is the truth.

And honestly right now, I am obsessed with this concept. This idea of finding that someone. I guess that's what we all will search for eventually.  I haven't found mine and I hope he won't be long. 


Hugs and kisses, 
A

Me.

Here's something that I never tell to anyone, but it's time for the truth.

I can travel to any place I want with a blink of an eye. From a crowded room. From the boring classroom. From myself. and From reality.

Call me a wallflower, because may be that's what I am. Someone who sees and knows stuff but never was a part of anything. Sometimes, I got sad over the smallest detail that didn't go right. And most of the time, I think too much of stuff and people that is not important. That's why I am going to commit myself to something. To give it my full attention so that I won't get distracted by my own mind. 

So for those who might wonder who I am, this is yours truly. Weird and awkward, A.

Goodbye 17

Okay, it appears that today will be my last day being 17. I'm still unsure of how I should react. At some point, I wanna scream,  "OH GAWD, I'M 18!!!!" and at some point, I just can't wait to start a new year of my life. (Cliche, no?)

My 17 year of my life has been filled with worries and anxiety, and somehow I wanted that to change. I'm 18 for goodness sake. It's time for me to enjoy my life and there would not be anything that would really worries me, I hope. I'm done with, "I'm not going to be able to go abroad" drama. I'm sick of, "What does my friends think of me? Do they hate me?" and obviously, I should stop underestimating myself. May be it's true. All this time, I've not give myself enough credit for all that I've achieved. No more fear. 

But 17 was not at all bad. 
Why?

at Alyssa's

Jogja with these peopleeee

don't ask

crazy cousin photo-time

who would ever thought, huh?

dinner party

at Jesslyn's

Stupid and crazy moot court team

Because my year as a 17 is pretty AWESOME and these were just part of the story. So here's to the end of a great year of my life and the start of being 18.

XOXO,
-A

A Perfectly Lonely New Year's Eve

So as the year comes to an ending, I come to a realization that life really goes by and time doesn't stop for anybody. I used to have the perfect New Year's Eve plans, but somehow life decided that it just won't happen this year.

I'm ending this year the way I started this very year.

Alone.

You might think that it's kind of pathetic but trust me it isn't. Sure it does bother me the fact that I'm not doing anything fancy right now. Last year, I was in the midst of stranger in Bali and I am now at my cousin's house, catching up with the Big Bang Theory that I've missed (along with How I Met Your Mother and Modern Family) *God, I love these series, making my own homemade pizza, and writing this blog. I'm sure many of my friends are hanging out doing who knows what, but somehow I like this solitude. 

This silent moment, in this silent house with the drops of rain (yes, apparently, listening to John Mayer while it's raining make me a poet), made me introspect myself. This year is really a roller coaster of feelings, especially as the year comes to an end. Emotions and events that literally change me.

Memories?
 I've got tons this year (:

Any regrets?

“I don’t really believe in having regrets; it’s just not really in my mindset. ‘Oh, if you could have done it differently, would you?’ It’s like, that doesn’t even occur to me. I’m here, and this is where I am, and I’m just living it. You’ve only got one life.” -Emma Watson

Strangely, I am looking forward to next year. I've got so much ahead of me. The national exams, university life, hopefully an internship abroad, and many more unexpected stuff that life's going to give me.

What do I think about this year?
It was:

• AWESOME
• UNBELIEVABLE 
• SURPRISING
• BEAUTIFUL
• LIFE-CHANGING
• ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS
• LONELY, BUT STILL AWESOME

Here's to end this year of 2012:

Perfectly Lonely

John Mayer

Had a little love, but I spread it thin 
Falling in her arms and out again 
Made a bad name for my game 'round town 
Tore out my heart, shut it down
Nothing to do, nowhere to be 
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do, no one but me  
And that's all I need
I'm perfectly lonely
I see my friends around from time to time  
When their ladies let 'em slip away 
And when they ask me how I'm doin' with mine  
This is always what I say
Nothing to do, nowhere to be  
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do, no one to be 
Is it really hard to see why
I'm perfectly lonely
'Cause I don't belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me
And this is not to say there never comes a day I'll take my chances and start again 
And when I look behind on all my younger times 
I'll have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong
'Cause I don't belong to anyone, and nobody belongs to me

Perfectly Lonely- John Mayer

Kisses for 2012 and hello 2013

Grateful for this year,

-Audrey L.J.

On A Thursday the Thirteenth

Dear Readers,

It has come to my attention that for most of us, holiday is just around the corner.
But truth be told, I am already dead bored with holidays.

How I feel about holiday

 Because of the torture that my school has put their students for the last five months, my school at least have the decency to give their student an early Christmas break. Of course, this only apply to students who do not need to take short course. You might wonder what the heck is a short  course. Well, according to my school a short course is a time to make up for bad marks for student and extra money for the school. Thank the good Lord, I am free from that torture and have been having my holiday since the first day of December! WOHOOOOO, right?

WRONG.

As a matter of fact, I have been dying of boredom, and this is not something new. Every holiday is a boredom to me. Well, it didn't start like that, but it ends so. Sad, isn't it?

yea, holiday would be much better if boredom could be rid just by screaming.

But somehow I am grateful for this holiday. On the bright side, I only have to bare 15 days of boredom before I finally go to......

drum-roll please everyone...


JOGJA!!!!

Some people might think that I am over reacting, but I am really happy that I am going to travel. 
Here's the run down:

I don't think that Indonesian train would be this good :')

1. We're going by the train. (How fun is that? Think about it. A bunch of teenagers going on train, messing with everybody's sleeping time while on the train, and at the same time do not give a damn about peacefulness.)
2. We're going to do who knows what in Jogja. (Probably food fest, shop, eat, sleep, sight-seeing, eat, eat, eat, oh  and eat)
3. We're going home by plane! (okay this last part is not that fun)

Private plane? I wish.

That's about what's going to happened. I guess the rest of my holiday will be filled burning the calories I've gain during the trip.

Anyway.....

There was actually something deep and meaningful that I was going to post but I am sadly, too lazy to do so now, I'll blog about it some other time. However, for those of you who did a screen shot for 12-12-2012, here's something for you ;)

Sincerely yours,
A.

You know why I love Alice?

Despite the fact that she is totally out of her mind, and the book doesn't necessarily made any sense to me, I just love the fact that she is crazy. It's kinda creepy, I have to admit, but I don't seem to bother that. In fact, I like how Alice is not giving a fuck to anything. She's like, "Fck you people. I have a fabulous imagination and you don't."

...or at least that's what I thought Alice would say in this modern world.

Truth is I'm tired living in people's expectation. Tired of being someone that people want me to be. (I know, deep right?) Guess I finally realize that it didn't do me any good. Sure, it has a positive side, but right now, I just don't care. It's dangerous, but who cares, right??

I wanna live my life, just as I want it to be. Do some stupid stuff, study, travel, and probably do some other stupid stuffs, but I just want to live.

and here comes the irony.

As much as I want to be free (or to an extreme end: wild), I also want to be neat and proper. Well, not that I care, but I have to. I'm going to take International Relationship, for goodness' sake. I will be representing some important people and stuff like that. Doing business all over the world and doing some good in this world. But I can't do that being ....messy. I have to at least have the proper presentation, proper image. I'm not saying that I will be all neat and stuff, which I am pretty sure would not even last for a long time, even if it happened. I'm just simply saying that I need to get my act right. It's time to pick up all the pieces of me that has been shattered for the last few years and fix them. Starting new again if I have to. If I want to make this right, I have to fix me first.

So here's to change,

cheers,
-A